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How the delicate maneuver between hovering and helping makes the difference

Last Updated: March 30, 2026

This article originally appeared in The Tennessean.

First aid kit…check.

Passport…check.

Copy of passport…check.

Backup first aid kit…check.

A summer semester abroad program is something I’d always wanted to do. Meeting new people, learning about another culture, seeing the world— the experience of a lifetime.

But 30 years removed from college, this trip wasn’t about me.

“Dad…I got this…”

International cell phone plan…check. Tile luggage tracker…check.  Backup Apple Air Tag…check.

I knew our kid would be fine, and I knew I needed to give him some space. Already independent and responsible, he was ready for this new adventure.  But the thought of him being halfway across the world with a group of strangers still weighed on my protective parental soul.

I just couldn’t help myself as I went over my checklist.

I knew our kid would be fine, and I knew I needed to give him some space. Already independent and responsible, he was ready for this new adventure.  But the thought of him being halfway across the world with a group of strangers still weighed on my protective parental soul.

I just couldn’t help myself as I went over my checklist.

But this dynamic doesn’t only happen in families.  It happens at work as well.

In a work setting, where it’s all adults operating in an often complex environment, the line between hovering and helping gets even trickier.  Not offering your help to a colleague when they need it can hurt the business.  But offering too much help can be overbearing and hurt morale.

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